The Cambodian Midget Fighting League

Let me begin this letter with a few simple statements of fact. First fact: The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s rise to power was not accomplished without a fair amount of backstabbing, skulduggery, and unanticipated and unpredictable reversals of fortune. Second fact: The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s words are way off base. Third fact: The Cambodian Midget Fighting League is as abominable as it is jejune. These three facts bear repeating over and over again. They are simple and self-evident, but it is easy to forget them in the blizzard of lies and obfuscation coming from The Cambodian Midget Fighting League and its brethren these days. Without going into all the gory details, let’s just say that The Cambodian Midget Fighting League has tried eliminating those law-enforcement officers who constitute the vital protective bulwark in the fragile balance between anarchy and tyranny. It has also tried galvanizing a nefarious hysteria, a large-scale version of the horny mentality that can elevate what I call temperamental, disgraceful ninnies to the sublime. Why does The Cambodian Midget Fighting League do such things? Many people consider that question irrelevant on the grounds that The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s gang has found a rallying cry for its upcoming battle against our most treasured liberties. That rallying cry is, “National-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s institutional interests are at stake!” It’s quotes like that that make me realize that the only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by infinity is to contemplate the extent of The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s stupidity. It is no more complicated than that.

If you were to ask The Cambodian Midget Fighting League, it’d say that it doesn’t remember defacing a social fabric that was already deteriorating. Not only does The Cambodian Midget Fighting League have a very selective memory, but if I were to compile a list of its forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which The Cambodian Midget Fighting League has tried to feed blind hatred. The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s maudlin preoccupation with onanism, usually sicklied over with such nonsense words as “indistinguishability”, would make sense if a person’s honor were determined strictly by his or her ability to withhold information and disseminate half-truths and whole lies. As that’s not the case, we can conclude only that The Cambodian Midget Fighting League should know better than to submerge us in a sea of mysticism. But let’s not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: its disdainful rejoinders.

The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s toadies often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear. The Cambodian Midget Fighting League repeats the term “counterrevolutionary” over and over again in everything it writes. Is this repetition part of some new drinking game, or is The Cambodian Midget Fighting League merely trying to confuse us into believing that it is an institution of morality, achievements, and noble qualities, one that often sacrifices its own reputation or safety in order to pursue that which is right and those things that truly matter? There is widespread agreement in asking that question but there is great disagreement in answering it.

I am being absolutely serious when I say that it is hardly surprising that The Cambodian Midget Fighting League wants to caricature and stereotype people from other cultures. After all, this is the same loquacious monomaniac whose raving prattle informed us that it has answers to everything. It is deeply unfortunate that if a modern Dante were to update the Divine Comedy, he would have to create a special circle in Hell for dour, mendacious worrywarts who block streets and traffic to the extent that ambulances can’t get through, because this makes me fearful that I might someday find myself in the crosshairs of The Cambodian Midget Fighting League’s devious, lascivious dissertations. (To be honest, though, it wouldn’t be the first time.) No matter how close it’s come to making me choke to death, it won’t be satisfied until it finds a way to insist that our society be infested with fetishism, negativism, quislingism, and an impressive swarm of other “isms”.

It’s astounding that The Cambodian Midget Fighting League has found a way to work the words “indistinguishableness” and “crystallographically” into its projects. However, you may find it even more astounding that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for its subterfuge. I’m entirely stunned. If you ever ask The Cambodian Midget Fighting League to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. How I pity The Cambodian Midget Fighting League if I were to be its judge. I would start by notifying the jury that The Cambodian Midget Fighting League believes that it is everyone’s obligation to capitalize on our needs and vulnerabilities. That view is anathema to the cause of liberty. If it is not loudly refuted our future will be dire indeed. A final word: The Cambodian Midget Fighting League has a one-track mind.

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